“Is Caleb Austin with you?”
“No, why?”
“Are you sitting down?”
“Yes, why?” ….
I’ll never ever forget those next words.
It’s been a while since I’ve shared here. The truth is, in June, my world shifted when I lost my brother.
I’ll be honest… I never understood deep breath taking grief until I lost him. I believe in Jesus. I believe wholeheartedly that my brother is in Heaven. But even with that faith and hope, I’ve still felt more lost, more sad, and more raw than I ever thought possible. For weeks, every time I woke up and realized it wasn’t a nightmare but reality, I broke down all over again. For months now, most days have felt like I’m about to puke and cry at the same time.
Grief is heavy. It’s messy. It lingers in places you don’t expect. And yet every single day, I’ve had to make the choice to reach for gratitude, to fight for joy. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 I am thankful for the way the Lord has stayed close to me and in so many ways, it’s like I can feel the closeness of my brother, too.
Fitness has carried me through grief before, and I know my brother would be proud to see me rising again… choosing healing, choosing health, choosing life.
My Brother’s Influence
My brother, Christopher, and I were 14 years apart. I was his pride and joy. His “baby Vala.” I never knew a life without a protector. I was always equally obsessed with him. He taught me so many things to do, yet taught me so many things not to do. He is a huge part of my testimony to Jesus. I pray for his salvation as we got older and addiction overtook him. I prayed and believed for him every single day. Finally, I had my brother back. The brother I knew. The brother that chased the heart of Jesus. He came to live with us in 2018. He was the one who first pushed Caleb, my husband, and I into health and fitness. When he came to live with us, he was in the best shape of his life. He made us do prison cross-fit style workouts in the garage, and as much as we groaned, he whipped us into shape.
But as life got busy, his workouts became fewer and farther between. Sugar took the place of discipline. And slowly, his health began to unravel.
Just seven short years later, that same brother, my first best friend, my person, passed away from stage 4 heart failure. The brother I felt like I lost over and over again to addiction, I lost for good when he was at his best spiritually yet his worst physically. How? Shattered me…
Watching his health unfold before my eyes changed me. It broke me to care for him. It broke me to put his socks on his feet just because he was so out of breath to do it himself. It broke me to sit with him while he cried over the pain and shared how tired he was. He was only 40 years old. I can’t follow the same path. And while food has been my vice too, I know I have to choose differently now.
A New Kind of Healing
In the stillness of grief, I realized I didn’t need more noise. I needed healing. I needed support. I needed to take care of myself differently.
I used to be a health and fitness coach with Beachbody, and I loved helping women feel encouraged, connected, and see results. After losing my brother, I knew I needed that kind of community and accountability again, one that could hold me up as I rebuilt strength from the inside out.
For me, that began years ago with movement as worship, during my seasons of miscarriage and questions and it had to continue but at a BETTER level. I can’t allow life and grief to shove me to the back burner. I felt a FIRE BURNING passion for fitness again. Maybe it was just to release the rage of grief or maybe it was just so I could blare my worship music and allow God to meet me during my workout. Either way, I couldn’t avoid the nudges.
That meant leaning in. Asking for help. Choosing to not isolate but to step into support again.
And in that process, God has reminded me of His promise: “to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Isaiah 61:3
And the encouragement of… “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11
So now what? I became a CERTIFIED HEALTH & FITNESS COACH!! Why? Because when I help others, it helps me find purpose in the pain. Month to month I run coaching rounds with ladies where we walk through how to build that foundation of health and fitness. Where to start, the science behind paired workouts and nutrition, encouragement, and more.
I would LOVE for you to join me: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=coachdeevalamiles
OR try two FREE workouts here: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/workout-free?aid=coachdeevalamiles
A Tool That’s Helping Me
One of the tools that has been helping me in this season is natural, bioactive peptides. They’ve helped me quiet the food noise, rebuild strength, and support my body through the heaviness. I’ve felt lighter not just on the scale, but in my spirit.
→ Target visceral fat (the stubborn stuff)
→ Support lean muscle growth & repair
→ Boost metabolism without overstimulation
→ Increase energy naturally (no crash, no bloat)
→ Curb cravings + quiet the food noise (NEEDED, cue emotional eating)
→ Help regulate blood sugar
→ Support hormone balance + reduce inflammation
→ Encourage better body composition (more tone, less fluff)
→ Promote sustainable fat loss (not a quick-fix rebound)
I know healing isn’t meant to be walked alone, which is why I started the Make Wellness Besties group. It’s an ongoing space for women to step into support, accountability, and encouragement at any point in their journey whether it’s day one or day one hundred.
Here’s what is inside:
✨ Ongoing encouragement and prayer
✨ A safe place to share your journey without judgment
✨ Meal plans, movement ideas, and check-ins to stay consistent
✨ Optional early morning accountability thread for those who want that extra push
✨ Real stories, honest encouragement, and a sisterhood to grow with
The best part? You’re never alone. And I would love to add you to that space. Send me an email!
I Pray to Encourage YOU
If you’re walking through grief or just feel stuck… I see you. You’re not alone.
There’s no pressure to be perfect. Just a quiet invitation to begin again, to rebuild, to find a new normal.
If you’re ready to take a step toward your own healing, whether it’s through movement, community, or even trying these peptides, I’d love to walk that journey with you.
I’m giving it my best shot. And I know you can too. Because “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Send me an email any time, friend!
I look forward to continuing to update you along the way!
XO
deevalamiles@gmail.com
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